Snake, you created a time paradox !
by arborealkey
Summary: 2005, Shadow Moses Island. In the middle of Alaska, Solid Snake runs into...Big Boss ? If that was not enough, Raiden decides to show up too. Before him and Snake ever met. One possibility left: Otacon made some tests with his new time machine. And nailed it.


**WARNING !**

**This fic might contain some spoilers.**

**Just kidding. The text below actually contains far too many spoilers. So if you didn't play the games or you hate the MGS series (in which case I could wonder why you're still reading this) you might not want to read the fiction.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own MGS, otherwise the whole saga would be playable on PC (I recently found out that The Phantom Pain will be available on Steam \o/ !)**

**Let's move to the fanfic, hope you'll enjoy it !**

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_**Shadow Moses, Alaska, 2005**_

As ever, Solid Snake was crawling into a dark, sticky air duct. His radar couldn't function properly in such a narrow space, but this lack of usability was the least of his concerns. There were no enemies into air ducts, thus no need to follow guards real-time patrols. Muscular soreness, thanks to sneaking in a space wide enough for his shoulders, will bother him for a few hours. However, a lightly aching body remained a light price to pay for some time without a bunch of guards hot on his trial. Since he wasn't expecting to run into anybody as long as he stayed in the pipe,Snake couldn't help but gasp in surprise when, at the bend of a canalization, he bumped into a man. Moreover, a man with the same features as...his ? Before taking a closer look at his doppelganger, Snake tried to grab a radio handset before he remembered that Mei Ling designed a Codec merged into the user's body. He called the 140.85 frequency (since Codec calls could pause the game, hiding before using it was the last thought which came in mind). Roy Campbell, always in the job, answered almost immediately.

"What's up, Snake ?" Campbell brightly asked.

"Major, that was Mei Ling's catchphrase" indicated Snake. "And I didn't call to save. My problem is far much important. I was ambushed by myself. I mean, someone who looks exactly like myself. Minus the right eye. And before I cut my locks and shave."

"Speaking of that, how did you manage to find a hairdresser right in the middle of Alaska ?" asked a pensive Major, apparently not willing to stay on topic for some obscure reason. "Given that you're carrying kilos of weapons and ammo but no knife, I suppose that you couldn't cut your hair by yourself."

This was however an accurate remark coming for once from Roy Campbell. He just figured out Metal Gear Solid (first of his name) greatest irony: Snake could level the whole Shadow Moses island to the ground using his impressive arsenal though cutting a dry sausage remained an inaccessible action, yet an essential one. Maybe the fact that sausages wasn't the most common item available in wild Alaska could have a significant consideration. Campbell wondered briefly if Snake's lack of carving set was the reason his nanomachines kept preventing him from hunger suffering since he wasn't carrying anything to cut or eat some food. The major could have even more got off topic if Snake's voice had not roused him from his thoughts.

"Major...you can't even remember what happened a few hours ago...I cut my hair right before leaving for Shadow Moses. You were saying some random things about the incoming mission while Naomi was threatening me with this deadly weapon..."

Based upon the content of this very syringe, "deadly" couldn't be a more accurate qualifier.

-A needle, Snake. That deadly weapon is called a needle. So you said your mullet was still here back there ?

-Major, your excessive concern for my hair is becoming a bit disturbing...

Luckily for Campbell, Snake couldn't see his face by Codec and didn't notice the major's sorrowful expression.

"Let's just go back to my encounter issue and shelve the hairstyle one for now." suggested Snake.

This proposal managed to cheer Campbell up. Switching topics was an activity he was good at after so many years of practice.

"By the way, I'm pretty sure you already forgot why you called me at first."

Roy Campbell figured out Snake's selective memory long ago. The legendary Solid Snake made his less legendary « too-bad-I-forgot » face. A Codec with a video streaming feature would have offered a shameful time to Snake and a burst of laughter to the major.

« I remember ! » almost shouted Snake, forgetting the fact that the major was wearing headphones, and savagely killing his eardrums at the same time.

Noticing the major's high-pitched squeak in response to his ears' aggression, Snake repeated « I remember » slightly less loudly.

"Go ahead" said a still-grimacing major, adding some speakers to his shopping list.

-I was practicing my favorite activity -I mean sneaking- in a cocky little air duck and found someone enjoying the same leisure : crawling. That could be a random encounter if he didn't look just like myself. Still, a yeti version of myself.

The major raised one eyebrow. « What do you mean by a yeti version of yourself ? »

-Me in the second MGS game.

-We've not even made it through the first game, how could I know your appearance within the second one ?

-With the whole mullet-beard thing !

The word "mullet" managed to draw the major's attention. The conversation was about hair again ! This was getting interesting ! "Pull yourself together, Roy" Campbell said to himself. He took upon himself and did his best to ignore the hairstyle allusion.

"You said he's lacking his right eye ?" quietly asked the major in a victorious attempt to switch topics.

Snake nodded, which served no purpose for the major since video streaming wasn't supported yet by the Codec. Netherless, Campbell seemed to _feel_ Snake's positive answer.

« There is only one possibility left » slowly said the major. « You just ran...crawled into Big Boss. Who was killed. By you. Even for a Kojima game, that's pretty weird.»

At this very moment, Campbell totally lost Snake, who wasn't following anymore and chose to adopt a classic uncertain expression before asking "I killed Big Boss ?When was that ?"

"In Metal Gear 2, Snake..." responded Campbell with an almost imperceptibly sigh. "Geez, this game even have your name and you still forgot what you did in it." he mouthed so Snake didn't caught this sentence. A needless precaution, Snake wasn't paying attention anyways.

-Supposing that he wasn't completely dead, the age doesn't even match.

-What do you mean ?

-The guy in the air duct is about my age. There is no way he could be Big Boss, he's far too young. If he wasn't dead, he would be about his seventies now.

"By the way, how old are you, Snake ?" asked a feminine voice with a slightly mischievous tone, sneaking into the conversation.

"That's none of your business, Naomi" the involved coldly answered.

"This man, in the conduct, he refused to say anything about himself ?" said the major louder than usual, trying to cover Naomi's indignant protests.

Thanks, once more to the audio-only codec, nobody noticed the light blush on Snakes's cheeks.

"Actually..." he began with embarrassment "I didn't say anything to him and called you first."

"I cannot decide between calling you a moron or a wise man... " said the major with a loud sigh. "You should better hang up and try to approach him rather than keeping the line busy."

Without one more word, Solid Snake hung up and faced his doppelganger. He swallowed while trying to find a badass catchphrase to begin with.

"Who the hell are you ?!" asked Snake in a quite impressive shout

The other one immediately drew a gun AND a knife. The gun's butt was somehow carved in order to receive the knife's handle. Despite the weapon arsenal he was carrying, Snake had never wanted a knife so badly.

Noticing the eager glance Snake was giving to his ordinary knife, the other guy smiled and said "You haven't seen anything yet : I even have a fork. With which I tried to mutilate Johnny Sasaki."

In spite of not having any idea of who this Sasaki guy could be, Snake was lost in admiration at his double. He managed to pull himself together despite the fact that the one he was facing owned both fork and knife.

"What's your name ?" asked Snake, watching the stranger right in the eyes, or at least in the only one he had left.

"I don't have a name." answered the other with a rough « smoker-since-1935 » voice.

"Neither do I !" explained Snake with bright eyes. It wasn't much, but he had at least something in common with his knife hero. However, one question was still bothering him.

"But when I want to call you, what should I say ?" timidly asked Snake

The other one let slip a sigh. "You can call me Snake."

The first Snake's eyes went wide as he realized that his codename was identical to his new hero's one. He hold out a slightly trembling hand to Snake #2, who gave a suspicious look at it without deigning to drop the weapons occupying both his hands to return the gesture. After a few minutes passed with his right arm outstretched towards his idol, Snake #1 gave up on shaking hands with Snake #2. This very moment would remain stuck in his memories and fill him with sadness every time he will remember it.

"I'm Solid Snake" he said.

"Naked Snake" simply answered the other.

'Naked ?" Snake #1 stammered, an adult-only image slowly getting into his mind, and somehow staying stuck in it.

Di-ling ! The bell-like sound almost made Snake #2 jump. Giving the fact that he was lying on his belly in an air duct, jumping would have been a painful experience for his head, which wasn't new to blows.

"What the hell was that sound ?" he whispered angrily.

Snake #1 blushed, fortunately, the air duct was dark enough to let it unnoticed. « Sorry, that was just my awkward-situation alarm » he said miserably. «Mei Ling designed the device responsible of the sound you just heard. »

"Who is Mei Ling ?" asked a quite interested Naked Snake as soon as he recognized this name as a female one. His curiosity getting the upper hand on his seriousness, he felt obliged to add : "Is she even cute ?"

"She's actually quite cute" admitted Solid Snake, remembering of the data analyst's crush for him.

Snake #2 added a meeting with this Mei Ling to his mental checklist, between the lines "Find some cardboard boxes" and "Get more boxes".

"Anyways, you should mute this absurd alarm", he went on, once he finished his checklist. "What word didn't you catch in _Tactical Espionage Action_ to use something like that INSIDE the enemy base ?"

Snake #1 was almost as ashamed as the time he split some Irish Coffee all over the major's jacket, his eyes reflecting a brand new « I-want-to-bury-myself-under-Raven's-tank » mood. His face was expressing such a deep despair that Snake #2 nearly felt sorry for him.

Nearly. No need to exaggerate.

He sighed and put away both gun and knife before reluctantly laying his hand on one of Snake #1 shoulders, who seemed to quiver at the touch.

"Let's get out of this pipe first" suggested Naked Snake. "Remaining motionless is making me freeze."

Solid Snake, who would never imagine disobey an order from his new idol (he had already beaten Snake Pliskeen in his list of badass characters), immediately started to crawl forwards. Until he collide with Naked Snake, who was going the opposite way when they ran into each others, and was therefore facing him.

"I suppose I'll have to turn around, then..." sighed the bearded Snake, thinking of how he would manage to realize this kind of maneuver in such a narrow space. After a few attempts which only ended up in Snake #2 foot violently hitting Snake #1 nose, he resigned himself to get out of the conduct backwards. In this day, the famous Naked Snake also became the pioneer of what will later be called "Reverse sneaking". Needless to say it, of all the contribution he had made to the Metal Gear Wiki so far, it wasn't one he would ever be proud of. Eventually, he would be asked about it and respond "Reverse sneaking was Solid Snake's idea" .

A few crawls later, the Snake moving in the right direction (not backwards) caught a glimpse of an invigorating - although resource intensive – snowstorm. The exit.

Snake #2 (crawling backwards) stopped when his feet got in contact with someone else's. A guard was sleeping upright, blocking the exit. That was a mere supposition, given that he was facing the other Snake instead of the exit and couldn't see anything of what was going on outside.

"I think there's a guard asleep out there" he whispered. "We can't get out of here, he's on the way."

-I'll try something. Get behind me !

-The pipe is too narrow. The both of us won't pass at the same time.

-That'll work.

Snake #1 squeezed up against one of the conduct's vertical walls while Snake #2 started crawling forwards. When they passed each others, the two of them feared that they would remain stuck in such an embarrassing position, but after some strange movements, they managed to switch places.

Solid Snake was now facing the guard's feet. He quickly undid the sleeping man's laces and used it to tie his shoes together.

"What are you doing ?" whispered the other Snake, unable to see what was going on with the guard.

Solid Snake suddenly grabbed the still sleeping guard by the ankles and pushed him. With his feet fastened together, the soldier couldn't do anything but fall straight in the snow.

"Snake, I can't see anything, what was this noise ? What do you see ?"

Solid Snake took this last question literally and started to describe the environment in front of his eyes.

-I see some...legs exceeding a snowdrift. Man, this guard fell headfirst !

Not expecting a better explanation about the presence of a guard in a snowdrift, Snake #2 kept his mouth shut about it and simply asked "Can we _now_ get out of here ?"

Both Snakes emerged of the pipe in the middle of an Alaska-style snowstorm.

"We can talk fearless, now. The only guard around is the one stuck under two inches of fresh snow" affirmed Snake #1, wiping the blood still running from his nose thanks to his doppelganger's unintentional kick.

-How can you say that ?

-There is nothing on my radar. You don't have one ?

-Your radar...like the ones...in the planes ?

Solid Snake, although he was surprised his idol wasn't equipped with a radar similar as his, simply responded : "Mei Ling designed it. She's the one qualified to answer technical questions."

Thanks to the daylight (even if the snow was doing it harm), Solid Snake could distinguish better the other's features. At least the part not hidden with blood-covered hair or beard. His unique eye was identical in all aspects to his two. Pale blue and sharp. He was even wearing a bandana similar to the strip surrounding his own forehead. His hairstyle made Snake regret he cut off his mullet before the mission, in order to not look like this Big Boss everyone was speaking of. For the clothes part, he was wearing a sort of a black version of his own sneaking suit, with some very discreet bright orange parts around the sleeves. However, unlike Solid Snake spotlessly clean suit, since it was only the beginning of the mission, the other's one was stained with dirt and some other unidentifiable substances. Some areas were frankly blood-soaked as if he just had a narrow escape from something as wild as a T-Rex. Since they were no dinosaurs in Alaska (neither in the rest of the world, by the way) Solid Snake thought he had nothing to fear.

At least from the T-Rex.

"Where did you find this sneaking suit ?" asked Snake, his voice tainted with a boundless admiration. If Roy Campbell was obsessed with hair, Snake's couldn't keep a clear mind when the subject was turning to sneaking suits or camouflage.

The other one thought of it for an instant before answering. "f I remember well, this suit was in the locker with the MGS2 poster I put this Raikov guy in, during the Snake Eater operation"

-This is SO cool ! Even if I have no idea of what Raikov nor Snake Eater are. YOU DEFINITELY ARE AWESOME !

It didn't take long to Snake #2 before he realized that the best way to have Solid Snake dedicated to himself and use him as his pleases was to impress him. That was fine : he had plenty of other things to show him. Noticing the other's admiration for his sneaking suit, he decided to start with the clothes part. He could also use face paint to improve his camouflage, but Snake was excited enough, so he decided to put the makeup session off until later.

-And that's not all ! I can change my clothes whenever I want it.

"Show me showmeshowme !" Snake #1 was almost jumping everywhere like an all excited child, urging Snake #2 to wonder _"What on earth did they put in his food ?"_

"I can't even take off mine" sadly added Solid Snake.

Snake #2 immediately remembered that taking off his equipment was right up his streets. His "Naked" camouflage could let him topless.

And that's how the legendary Big Boss (because it was definitely him) found himself shirtless in the middle of a snowstorm for a man he hadn't worked with for more than twenty minutes. He even possessed a bathing suit he found during the Peace Walker mission, and felt glad he refrained from mentioning it in front of Snake. It we'll be better to avoid wearing such an unsuitable equipment in Alaska.

Snake's eyes went wide as his awkward-situation alarm rang.

-Didn't I say you to shut that thing ? It's almost as discreet as Metal Gear ZEKE in a potato field !

Noticing that Snake was remaining lost in his thoughts without asking anything about ZEKE, Big Boss frowned. "Huh, Snake, what's the matter ? You didn't say anything stupid for at least two minutes."

Snake slowly raised his head, his eyes reflecting an almost evil expression.

-Can you remove the other part too ?

"No, I checked to Singint. In fact, someone has to do it for me" evasively answered Big boss , thinking to his ex-half-naked « associate », EVA, rather than the consequences of such a suggestive affirmation on Snake. He made eye contact with the agent and realized his unfortunate mistake.

-Snake ?

"Huh ?" innocently responded Solid Snake, adopting his favorite "I'll-never-do-something-wrong" face.

"You're not thinking of removing my trousers too, right" suspiciously said Big Boss.

"What is leading you to believe such a thing ?" exclaimed the defendant, trying to hide the delicate cherry color of his cheeks.

"Di-ling !" rang his awkward-situation alarm, betraying him at the same time.

"That sound, incidentally" sighed Big Boss, attempting to hide his smile.

Snake took once more his "I-want-to-bury-myself-under-Raven's-tank" face. Roy Campbell would love this expression. Speaking of the devil, he received a codec call.

"Snake !" said Campbell. "Mei Ling informed that your alarm rang three times ! And since, despite being the person in charge of this operation, I have no idea of what it's indicating, I thought that a call would be the wisest thing to do."

-Actually, that was my awkward-situation alarm.

-That doesn't explain the fact it was ringing...

-Huh...in fact...

-I guess we can take care of it later. By the way, who finally was that man you were speaking about ?

Snake suddenly remembered why he called the major the first time. And that he had in a way totally forgotten to ask the stranger about himself.

-I only know that his codename is Naked Snake. Does it ring any bell to you ? I'm pretty sure you've never been in contact with him.

"Goddammit, Snake !" burst Campbell. "Did you even play Portable Ops ?"

-What are you talking about ?

-YOU'RE HAVING A WALK WITH BIG BOSS YOUR IDIOT ! How could you not notice it ? He was your commandant in the first Metal Gear game and you even managed to kill him twice. How is it possible to forget someone you killed TWICE ?

Taking advantage of Snake's sympathetic codec conversation, Big Boss put one knee to the ground and tried to contact Huey Emmerich using his miraculously intact radio.

-Huey. You messed up. I even found my double, but the similarity stops to the physical part. He's a dumb-ass.

-Snake, I'm afraid I can't talk right now. Someone broke into my house.

Emmerich's tone of voice was reflecting fear and haste. Snake heard some walks on Huey's side. Someone else seemed to have entered the room the doctor was in. Snake managed to catch the stranger's lines.

_"Otacon ! Why are you here too ? I thought you stayed in 2010 ! I didn't find Big Boss ! You said it was the right era !"_

"I don't even know this Otacon !" answered Emmerich. "Who the hell are you ?"

"Huey ! What's happening ?" asked Snake. "You sent me in Alaska with your so-called time machine ! I've a mission to complete ! I can't take the liberty of staying here ! That's the last time you use me as a guinea pig in one of your damn experiences !"

_"Otacon !"_ said Huey's mysterious visitor. "_You said you'll help me kill Big Boss to cancel the Les Enfants Terribles project !"_

-For the last time, I don't know what you're talking about ! I've never seen you before ! I'm the Dr Emmerich and not some Otacon guy ! See ? As for Les Enfants Terribles, you're too late, it began four years ago !

_"How couldn't you be Otacon ! He even posses the same machine as yours with a much bigger screen ! And you looks exactly like him !"_ said the intruder, who didn't catch Emmerich's last line about Les Enfants Terribles.

"Huey !" called Snake one more time. "Answer me ! When will you get me out of here ?"

For the first time since his visitor had showed into his room, Huey Emmerich took a few seconds to answer Snake.

"Now is not the time ! There is a blond threatening me with a katana ! By the way, that's damn cool."

"Are you one of Frank Jaegger fans ?" he asked to the intruder.

_"Who's Frank Jaegger ?"_

"Huey ! What was the use of the machine you tested on me ?" questioned Snake.

"You ! Don't touch this button ! Don't touch it !" cried Emmerich, addressing to the intruder.

-Huey ! Is this ninja still here ?

-Not anymore. I guess he would be near you now. If the machine functioned properly, which I'm pretty sure.

Big Boss was understanding less and less."Huey, where did you sent me ?"

-You should ask "when" ! By the way, I'm amazed that the radio I designed for you can transmit through ages.

-Wh...

-See you, Snake !

He hung up. Snake immediately tried to recontact him.

_**NO RESPONSE**_

Big Boss got on his feet and heard quite an elegant expression shouted behind him.

_"BLOODY HELL !"_

He quickly did an about-turn to face a blond man in spandex furiously waving his blade.

"Wow, that's very...skin-tight." commented Naked Snake, gazing at the newcomer's outfit.

"Snake ! What are you doing here ?" asked the new one, frowning. "And when did you lose your right eye ?"

-Do I...know you ?

-Obviously we know each others ! You even saw me naked when I escaped from Solidus on the Big Shell !

Big Boss didn't remember seeing any man naked for the past forty years, only women, and despite his fashion hairstyle, the stranger facing him was obviously too flat-chested to be one. As the other came closer, Big Boss started to recognize him.

-Raikov ! How did you make your way outside the locker ?

"I'm not Raikov ! I'm Raiden !" protested the blond, a growing uncertainty reflecting on his face. "You met me on the Big Shell under the name of Iroquois Pliskin !"

-You must be confusing me with someone else ! There is no way I'll chose this name for a cover.

"I'm here to prevent your very birth !" exclaimed the blond man, pointing his shining blade at the bearded Snake. "I'll kill Big Boss and erase you in order to become the main character in the MGS saga ! Liquid and Solidus perished, so you're the only one left on my glorious path to badassity !"

"Who is that ?" asked Solid Snake, who had just finished his exchange of insults with the major.

The blond swordsman shook his head, starring alternately at Solid Snake and Big Boss.

"I'm seeing double ! Wait, who are you ?" he asked, addressing to Solid Snake.

-Snake.

-You too ?

-No, he is Naked Snake, I'm Solid Snake.

"If YOU are Solid Snake, then that means... Hey, you're Big Boss !" the blond man said, pointing his finger towards Naked Snake.

"So the major was right" pensively whispered Solid Snake.

The blond newcomer adopted a combat stance, his blade raised straight in front of his face.

"Big Boss !" he cried, attempting to inject some epicness in his words. "I'm here to kill you in order to prevent HIS birth !" He frowned, then lowered his katana, passing one hand through his golden locks. "Wait, that doesn't make any sense. How can I see you both at the same time, and about the same age ! Even Otacon's explications make more sense !"

"This Otacon again..." noticed Big Boss.

The blond swordsman gloriously planted his katana in the ground, where it remained stuck, reflecting the snowflakes still slowly falling around the three men. He wiped some snow of his hair before asking "Wait, am I the only one among the three of us who actually knows what he's doing here ?"

Solid Snake thought of it for an instant. "Huh...I'm pretty sure the major explained it to me, but I have to admit I forgot."

"Snake, you really are a pain in the ass." sighed Big Boss.

-As long as it's in you...ouch

"What's wrong with this guy ?" asked for himself the blond newcomer, Raiden.

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**Thanks for reading ! Please review !**

**By the way, sorry for my English...I'm only learning it at school (school==where I am when I'm not playing MGS)/**

**So if you see any mistakes or strange expressions (I might have invented some words as well), please report it !**

**I hope you enjoyed the fic, what would you want me to change for the next chapter ?**


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